Portal Redirect
by ShadowPhoenix101
Summary: [Undergoing lots of edits; will be fixed up soon!]


The café was a… hexagon shape, I think? It had eight sides, and two of the sides were longer than the others. I don't think that's a hexagon. I'm not sure what it is.

A long red ribbon was hung along the ceiling, with pink, yellow, and blue papers hanging off of it. There were small trees near the entrance, some boxes and barrels along the walls, and two stands in the back. One was decorated with plants and a blobby blue figure, and the other has colorful glass fluid barrels and a shelf covered in food.

There were four tables in the room. We were seated close to the crate stand.

"So, the arguments on our potential choices… if we stay here, we'd be an additional assistance to help quell the chaos, but we would be abandoning a home and the people with it." Drobot eyed the person to his right. "I find it odd for you to suggest that. I always figured you as the sentimental type."

Drobot was a dull green dragon, gangly and scraggle-toothed, with dull brown legs and a long wrinkly neck. His shiny navy armor made his wings look painfully stiff and made his eyes bulge out lifelessly. He had a metal chunk on his tail-tip that didn't do anything, and a glowing orb embedded in his back that didn't do anything.

The other person, Whirlwind, leaned back with her arms out and glanced to the side. She was blue with a feathered tail and wings, a sharp ridged horn, head nubs, and a pale blue underbelly. The whites of her eyes were a deep blue; some borked genes in hybrids or something. Around her shoulders was a satchel full of small otherworldly fruit.

"Iiiii dunno…" She glanced back at Drobot. "My family was kind of weird, and the social stuff was kind of weird, and the racism thing was kind of… weird… I, uh, kind of like it here?" She shrugged and gave an awkward grin. "It's like a fresh start!" she said, waving her arms a little. "…Also, it's less racist. But still!"

"You wish to stay in the universal crossing point where we were first known as glorified action-figure mass-replicas of ourselves."

"Is there really a difference?"

"Personally, I like being away from the rabid fans who keep asking when I'm gonna have sex with Spyro. I'm seventeen and he's eleven. Some don't know, supposedly, but some _don't care_ and that's fucking gross."

Cynder leaned her head on one arm, scowling in irritation and boredom. Her scales were some sort of indigo or violet or something, and her wings and underbelly were some sort of rose or magenta or… something. She had three sets of curved horns, a flat head, blue eyes, an arrowhead tail-tip, and spiky metal jewelry.

"And there are none of those here…?"

"Probably not, but hey, there's a bunch of those for every other universe prettied-up and shown off. We've got the least of the shit."

"Meh, I'm just following you guys." Camo said that. I hate him. Let's move on.

"Besides, I couldn't ever leave my gals!" He wrapped his arms around Cynder and Drobot, pulling them near himself in some sort of stupid unwanted hug. He looked at Drobot, realized it was Drobot, and let go, all while Cynder was cussing him out and clawing her way out of his grasp.

"And Zap, my bro! Where is he?"

"He didn't make it, and _we told you this already_," I said flatly.

"Calm your nips, dude…"

"He's not mad, he's just telling you you're being a dumbass," Cynder added, smirking when Camo stared at her in exasperation.

"…_Ahem_. We can use the portal network to return to Skylands, and assist the other Skylanders in the chances that the four months we've been here haven't been enough time for them to regather themselves. Any arguments for or against?" Drobot looked around at us.

"Too many creeps. I'm staying here," said Cynder.

"It wasn't kind of friendly sometimes…" muttered Whirlwind.

Camo shrugged.

"I'm staying," I said.

"Alright. Three votes to stay, one abstain, no votes to go back. Unless you change your minds, I suppose we'll continue to live here."

"H-hey! I'm staying if you bros are! Count me in too!"

"…Four votes to stay, then. You should have- uh, Sunburn? Where are you going?"

I walked out the door.

The corridor was thin and tall, covered in white tile and white stone and white everything else. I took the right path, entering the large two-story hall. I took a turn to the left, immediately exiting the hall and entering one of the larger, main corridors.

I came to the next left turn and froze.

A large beige dragon, wingless and frilly but otherwise typical, stood dead-center at the T-shaped intersection. Their head bent down, trying to get a grip on some sort of loose, fleshy, slime-cocoon. Their tail held a thick pipe, oozing from one end and dented on one side.

I stayed where I was, pressed to the corner, quietly watching every step they made. They tried lifting the cocoon, wobbling and leaning back down, resorting to dragging it down the center hall.

After they left my sight, I silently sprinted to the next corner, peering from behind it. The next room was another large hall - a four-way intersection - with a big gap in the center of the floor that lead to a lower floor. The dragon was dragging the sac around the hole, heading towards the far exit.

I waited for them to make it just to the door, then I dashed after them, lifting my claw-tips to avoid a giveaway _click-clack_-

"_HEY!"_

I skidded to a stop and fell on my butt. The dragon dropped the sac and jolted around.

"Hey, sorry dudes. Drobot was all wonderin' why you left and I was like, I DUNNO, and I came to check up on ya! Haha, you're a funny one!" I seethed as Camo strutted up towards me. "Meetin' up with some guy? Friend of yours? I had a pen pal once. She had some RAD melons! Melons, cantaloupe, pumpkins, yams… Heard she won some gardening contest or whatever. I'd enter, but it wouldn't be fair. I'm totally awesome. Hey, dude! Dude!"

"What is it? I am most busy, you know," came a dry British accent. I turned around and looked at the beige dragon, who was blankly glaring at us both.

"Busy? Hey, what's that bag for?"

"It's for… groceries." His expression brightened. "Ah, yes, I do have quite a lovely stew waiting to be made, and a small child waiting as well! As you see, I must be going-"

"Aw, don't be like that! Me and Sunbird here can help ya with that!"

"Sunbird and I," he corrected.

"_Sunburn_," I said.

"By the way, what's your name, dude?" Camo strutted right up to the sac and smiled at the dragon. _Gullible trusting little-_

"My name is Eredwyn."

"Huh? You sure that's not a girl's name? I'm gonna call you Eric. Sounds more like a _dude_. Hey, Sunbird! Over here!"

My expression contorted in suspicious irritation as I got up and walked up to them. Eredwyn was looking up with a gloating smile, and Camo was giving me a stupid look. Camo grabbed the sac by one side, gripping at it with his claws, and started dragging it to the exit.

"H-hey, you gonna help?!" he wheezed.

I stared at him.

Something… didn't feel right.

"Fine, man, geeze," he grunted, turning his attention away from me.

Eredwyn and Camo dragged that thing through the doorway as I followed, peering down at the abyss. I didn't see a bottom or a top to it.

I've heard that this room's a near-infinite tower called the TSF – the Tall-Story-Fall, because what else would you expect for names in a _mall universe_? One person told me that it was thousands of miles long. Another told me that it didn't end at all.

"So, uh… where's your house?" Camo looked around dumbly.

"Four stories up, on the right of the left," Eredwyn stated.

"Right of the- okay, you know what? He can do that," he said, shoving the sac at me.

"No." I stood there as he stared at me. He threw his arms up.

"Geeze, dude! He didn't take your limbs or bang your girlfriend or anything! Why are you being such a bitch?" Camo looked at Eredwyn. "Gee, I'm sorry, man. He's such an asshole sometimes and no one knows why. Like, we're nice to you, right? What's your deal?! Heh… sorry, dude. We just put up with him 'cause SB tells us to. I think she has too much pity for the guy. Too much of a doormat."

"She has more guts than _you_ do," I retorted.

"Oh my god, dude! She can't even _leave her house_ most of the week!"

"Considering how she has to deal with people like you, I'm amazed that she can bring herself to leave it at all."

"Whatever. You only like the people that kiss your ass. I'm outta here." With that, Camo stormed off.

"Hm. Now that you're done with your… scuffle, I believe I have some groceries I need assistance with."

I glared at Eredwyn, both irritated and suspicious and feeling some sort of growing anxiety. _What is it that's bothering me?_

"…Right." _I have a chance to follow him, corner him, and get the info I want. If I play nice, then that might lower his guard. I'm not passing this up._

I grabbed the sac and flapped my wings as hard as I could. My wings are long and thin; good for escapes and travel, bad for moving in small areas. Slowly, I managed to hover upwards. Entrance floor, floor, floor, floor, floor…

There was a door on the left of the _third_ floor up. I landed on the balcony with a thud, squishing against the sac.

Something inside of it was-

"Thank you for that," came Eredwyn's voice. I turned around and saw him clambering up the balconies and over the railing. He touched his claw to a bar on the door, which lit up with a click and creaked open. "Now, my friend, would you be as kind as to help me unpack it inside?" He gripped the sac with his mouth and slinked into the thin dark opening.

Curious but cautious, I followed him in.

In contrast to the white walls outside, the corridor was made of a dull, dark blue stone (or metal?). It twisted to the left and to the right again in a zig-zag shape. At the end, I stood behind Eredwyn as he opened a second door. With a hiss and a click, it opened and he shoved his way through, with me close behind.

The room was pitch black, and my eyes were slow to adjust. Something off-color, massive, and faintly glowing was centered at the far side of the room (is that even the end?), and I could see Eredwyn's silhouette in front of it, tiny in comparison. A gross liquid sound came from that direction as he fiddled with the base of the sickly-yellow mass, and I could see the sac enter the off-color area, float up, and get tethered by grotesque wisps.

"You have… _interesting_ cooking methods," I remarked.

"Things like these don't come along that often. I savor a delicacy when I can."

His head turned towards me. He started walking forward. I backed up.

"Well, well. You're both rather gullible. Outwardly, I expected him to be worse. Quite interesting…"

He suddenly lunged for me. I leapt out of the way, skidded in a U-turn, and ran right towards him, jumping at him and setting myself ablaze in a Phoenix Dash.

It fizzled out as soon as it started.

He grabbed me by the neck as the rest of me was slung forward by inertia. I let out a gurgled squawk and tried to teleport away.

Nothing.

"Most of the do-gooders around here favor very particular dragon magic. Fire, electricity, ice, earth… I've acquired a device to disable all of those, and I've set up the room with it. You're a fire elemental? Good. That just makes my job easier.

"This room was built by an imbecile of a megalomaniac who would gather up fodder, lure monsters to captivity, and turn the fodder into impressive but inferior replicas of the beasts. Unfortunately, it would seem he was too stupid to implement a brainwash procedure. No matter. I don't need it anyway. This certainly is most fortunate for me… you can't fight back, and soon, no one will believe you. You can't do anything."

Something started buzzing behind me. Eredwyn strutted over to it.

"…You sound _and_ act like a cliché PG loon," I said flatly._ If I go down, I might as well go down with sass._

He stopped with a jolt and scowled at me. He opened his mouth and snapped it shut, jerking his head around.

"Jeer all you want, my bothersome little friend, but at the end of the day it only serves to amuse me. I am tipping over the first in a line of dominoes that will certainly end in death. Grotesque, kid-unfriendly death. Curiosity killed the cat and blasted it to hell and back, and you're both damned for forever and eternity _and I will destroy your lives as you know them!_"

He threw me into the light and everything went black.


End file.
